WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
