Don't you send me to vm
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
