She went from zero to smokin in five shots
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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