Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
