Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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