that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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