i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He passed out mid-signature
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
