dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
