Please, let me fuck your mom
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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