Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
