somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
