That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
