Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
