he puts the penis in happiness.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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