if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
