we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
