no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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