Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
