Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
