Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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