his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
