So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
