Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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