The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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