At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
