Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
