dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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