She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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