And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
