Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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