He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
