And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
