omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
