Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
