$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
