Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
