The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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