Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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