question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
