soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
