I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
