So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
