nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
