using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
