If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
