it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I intend to get homeless drunk
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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