that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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