I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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