You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
