TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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