i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she smelled like a LAN party
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
