Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
