I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
